Lost- Part 4: Home

Written by Dana Smith

When I realized I’d committed to making all this public I was over come by a feeling that tightened my shoulders and clenched both my jaw and butt cheeks. This was all after the process of writing it, which made me feel sporadic and disassociated. Writing this blog forced me to pull myself from my story, extract the essence of my reflections from past life shaping experiences. These reflections were hard to face then and are hard to say now. To write it I had to process it, to process it I had to have lived it.

I had to extract the essence of my reflections from life shaping experiences

In this process of course I relived a lot of pain, however I got a chance to remember the good times that were buried with the hard. Pulling pictures from Facebook was a roller coaster of draining and energizing sensations. I say all this to say I’m so glad I chose to share and I appreciate your presence and witness to this journey (in whatever space in time).

Some parts where harder to talk about than others. You might have wondered what I meant by ‘self harm’ and ‘eating disorders’ (we all want to look at the train crash). Was it picking, nail-biting, cutting, binge eating, anorexia, bulimia, all of the above? What is the trigger? Well I’ll tell you this the trigger is all too real.

Days in the bed, depressive moods, lack of motivation, mental blocks. These are all things I deal with to date. I have no answers sway, I need a therapy (fuck stigmas). I’m learning to care for my body and deter from thinking that leads me towards harm. I work to see myself as I am and not as intended.

I see my struggle to say no, I see how that hurts my integrity

I see my struggle to make time, I see my energy lessen

I see my struggle to stay a float, I see my self drowning

I see and I try and… the music helps

I’d like to believe its getting better, better all the time

I appreciate you taking the time to follow a journey though my complicated feelings in my adolescence and through my development. I had to write it to let it go, but I had to share it because too often we do not. Some times the story with no end is the truest.

Confession: All my art comes from processing my personal experiences and I process all things differently, sometimes life gives me what turns into a song, other times life gives me what comes to be a chronicle. I hope that the folks who read my blog take from it the truths I lived. I hope opening my heart helps another opens theirs.



In all the things and all the ways

I find comfort in expression, in all my days

Photography: Mahdi Gransberry

About Ms. Lotus Fankh

Written by Brooke Maroldi

What’s in a name? A lot.

The name Lotus Fankh - singer, songwriter, performance artist - honors the symbolic rebirth of a lotus, the ankh a symbol for Life, and the “F” for Funk. Put those together and you get a glimpse into the ideals Ms. Lotus Fankh holds dear.

Raised in Milwaukee and supported by a family that encouraged open discussions and independent thinking, Ms. Fankh attended the city’s Middle School and High School for the Arts. Although music was always part of her life, she didn’t start to sing until senior year at the University of Wisconsin-Stevens Point. That’s when she started putting her poetry together with guitar playing. After college, she experimented with several bands and when she met producer Moses of Higher Education Records, she started recording.

Now at age 30, Ms. Fankh is constantly writing songs and buying equipment. Purchasing her Loop station solidified her lifetime commitment to composing and performing music. Her sound is inspired by Soul, Funk, Jazz, and Rock.She expresses personal stories through guitar, loop station, violin, original songs, and her sultry voice.

With the release of her new video “Better Than This” and EP of the same name, Ms. Fankh is making her mark on her hometown.

But this is only the beginning.

She’s working on her next EP with many local musicians and it’s guaranteed to be a tour de force. The new EP will be kicked off by her one-woman show that showcases original poetry, choreography and design work.

Eventually, she envisions herself writing cinema scores, crediting her Dad with exposing her to a variety of music that even includes the iconic scores of Spaghetti Westerns by Ennio Morricone. And, like Morricone, Ms. Fankh wants her music to reach huge audiences.

“I want to have a global reach from my heart, and give everyone a little heart hug” she says. Her dedication to addressing social and racial injustices through music led to one of her proudest moments: she  returned to her Alma Mater to perform “Woke,” a 2-hour program that featured poetry and talkbacks with with students. The experience - promoting education, awareness and healing - underscored her commitment to her life’s work.

“On a local level, my dream is to have a community foundation that funds the arts, bringing a more direct connection between the money and the outcomes,” Ms. Fankh said.

My favorite recording artist

I get asked often who are some of my favorite artist and I am usually at a loss of words, there are so many dope influences on music that I'm like "how can I even begin?".  However, it has come to my attention that I have been keeping a running list of some of my favorite artist for 2 years.

I have a station saved to Pandora that I call "my favs" (pronounced "faves", the 'e' is imaginary). I started it in 2009 as an exclusive Earth Wind and Fire station (how fitting). In 2014 I began to add artist I love from any and all genres in an attempt to have the most banging flow of music ever.

So here is the answer folks... More like here are snippets of "my favs" station seeds.

From the start I was fucking with these folks:

Yeah mama likes this :)

Yeah mama likes this :)

I could go on!  Shout out to MKE <3 Klassik in the building.

I could go on!

Shout out to MKE <3 Klassik in the building.

Here are some more recent adds

OMG confession... I like musicals more than I let on lol I actually enjoyed Repo!'s music and appreciate the inclusion of music from musicals

OMG confession... I like musicals more than I let on lol I actually enjoyed Repo!'s music and appreciate the inclusion of music from musicals

So there it is an incomplete and not so random list of artist I like and love. BTW Lex Allen is another MKE artist in my faves and I'm waiting to add more of them MKE sounds to this mix ;)

Comments are on so let me know, would you be down with this mix? Do you want me to share it so you can rock with it too?


#Vensday Bean Saga

So a month ago I made some strange posts on my page! 

I was posting about gas sporadically... Talking about eating insane amounts of beans...&nbsp;

I was posting about gas sporadically... Talking about eating insane amounts of beans... 

Some of you may wonder what the hell possessed me to eat all them damned beans.

Let me explain this with vines... Happy #vensday...

1. So the bean story starts with my drunk ass at Ians Pizza. I made this right after I ate their baked bean pizza...

2. This pizza slice was inspiring!! It was a masterpiece! A messy delicious masterpiece. I was 2 hours into Sunday Funday and life was lit, pizza in hand and mouth.

3. My inner child was especially geeked like "I forgot how awesome baked beans are!"

The next day I made groceries so that I could eat baked beans all week. I bought vegetarian beans and pork cut for stew; I even bought cilantro & cheese. I was ready to enjoy this!

4. For a while I was living it up in baked bean heaven until the gas started fucking with my equilibrium. I was out for the count on bean consumption, even the thought of beans gave me gas (this is about the time in the story when I started hallucinating orbs of gas in my body)

5. I made a video of me laughing at my painful gas,  I had to reflect on why baked beans are a side dish.

(these laughs are genuine... I made this vine a month ago while I was still going through)

Moral of the story:

Beans, beans, the musical fruit
The more you eat the more you toot
The more you toot the better you feel--

(to an extent)

So eat your beans in every meal--

(But not as the main dish or you will shit your brains out)


Be sure to like my Facebook page to catch my next #Vensday! 

Don't forget my site launches March 28th!